


all i require are circuits and wires

by pepi_peachnbeans



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Sad, also someone needs to give jinyoung one, im sorry, im still not the best at tagging, jaebum made him, jinyoung is a robot, lowkey jinson, major character death twice, reflecting on the past, robot!au, soft jjp, somebody needs to give jaebum a hug, you'll see why - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 18:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepi_peachnbeans/pseuds/pepi_peachnbeans
Summary: Loving Jaebum was easy. Throughout all the years. The past memories never arguing against it, because that Jinyoung had loved Jaebum, and so did this Jinyoung. He made all new memories, his very own for him to cherish, and it was all filled with loving Jaebum too. Maybe because no matter what life, what version, Park Jinyoung would always love Im Jaebum with all of his heart, no matter the circumstances.





	all i require are circuits and wires

**Author's Note:**

> title and fic are based on the song irobot by jon bellion
> 
> "I am a robot  
> I used to know love"

Waking up for the second time was nothing like the first. 

Jinyoung let himself blink as he took in his surroundings. There were five other people, three robots and two humans. This time when he woke up, he didn't recognize the people standing in front of him. His face recognition didn't recall them, and neither did his memory bank. They were complete strangers.

"Hey, Jinyoung right?" A blonde robot in front of him asked. "How are you feeling?" 

Jinyoung blinked again as he let himself run protocol checks. His sight was good, and his memory bank was fine. Letting himself sit up and extend his arm, his mobility was at full capacity as well. There wasn't a thing wrong. "My systems are all charged." 

Several of them frowned, and Jinyoung's emotional reader could pick up that for some reason this is not the answer that they were looking for. Though, wasn't it good? Jinyoung wasn't having any issues, when apparently when they found him they did. But quickly one of them was smiling again, "That's good! Do you-Do you have anywhere to go? We found you powered off by yourself and from what we have noticed there has been no missing posters for you." 

Cocking his head to the side Jinyoung could remember powering himself off and then there was the way a feeling was creeping up on him, why he powered himself up. Why he was now alone. "No I don't have anywhere to go." Without another thought, before they could continue to attack him, Jinyoung shut them down, manually of course, not one to go for the metaphorical route of trying to "push them to the back of his mind" like he has seen people do in the past. 

Besides, he was a robot, there was nothing he could do. Unless he tore his memory bank from himself and destroyed it. Not unless he got someone to wipe it completely clean. 

But Jinyoung couldn't do that to either of them. It wouldn't be right. And so, he shut off his emotions. 

The people who had found him and fixed him let Jinyoung stay with them. He learned that Mark and Youngjae were humans, and Jackson, Yugyeom, and BamBam were all robots. They were in fact, not robot repairemen. They just found Jinyoung and decided to bring him in, initially thinking that he was just shut down in sleep mode and didn't want to just leave him outside in the rain any longer. But it was the morning after that that they realized Jinyoung was actually shut down and not on sleep mode. So they waited for him, tried to power him on themselves, and then realized that some of his systems needed fixed. But at that point, it felt wrong to just dump him off at a repair shop, so they fixed him themselves. 

Really, Jinyoung was thankful, for them helping him, for giving him a place to stay. But no matter how kind they were, it didn't feel like home. Jinyoung was positive that nowhere could ever become home to him again. 

It was one night, that he was awake, his memory bank not allowing him to turn himself to sleep mode. There had been a time when on nights like this he would curl up, letting himself be comforted until sleep mode activated. Now that was no more. 

Now Jinyoung would sit. 

He would sit on the couch, a heavy blue blanket caging him in, as he held a book in his hands. There was many books Jinyoung had downloaded, but none of them could compare to the comfort of having a physical paper book in his hands. It was sense of familiarity. Especially this book, it being more than just a comfort now. It was his favorite book. It was the first time that he had ever woken up. It had been before it. 

It still was now because Jinyoung just couldn't shake those kind of things. His making not alllowing him to, and frankly neither would he allow himself to forget it. Forget him, forget them. 

He had been so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized the body of someone sitting next to him until it was too later. Jackson picked up part of the blanket, and let it fall over himself as he moved to sit close next to Jinyoung so that their arms and legs were pressed against each other. 

Jackson was watching him and Jinyoung sighed as he closed the book, making sure that his forefinger was on the page that he was on. "Yes Jackson?" 

Jackson frowned, so unusual from his usual smiling face. "Do you not like it here?" 

Caught off guard by the question, Jinyoung let his brows crease, "No, I do enjoy it here. Do I seem as if I don't? Have I been not acting grateful?" 

One of Jackson's hands were raised and he rest his hand square on Jinyoung's chest, where a real beating and living heart would be for a human, but not for either of them. "You don't use your emotions, you don't let yourself feel them. Why?" 

He looked at the book held in his hands, the cover burned into his memory bank, from before it was artificially created. Back when Jinyoung was a real and living human. It was mocking him, he knew what the book said. It was one of his favorite quotes _**“Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."**_ There was a time when Jinyoung would sigh wistfully, sounding aged well beyond his years, thinking he fully understood it back then. 

But Jinyoung knew that now he didn't even need his emotions bank to be turned on for his stupid artificial heart to ache at the huge Jaebum-less hole that was inside of him. 

_He should have died._

_That fact wasn't odd, every human was suppose to die at some point, but Jinyoung always knew that he was going to die ever since a young age. Ever since the age of five when he was in the hospital for a week, his mother nonstop crying and pediatric doctors having to explain his disease to him._

_So life was just always ticking down for him, until the day that he would actually croak. Ever since the day that he was diagnosed he knew that he wasn't even going to make it to thirty. And that was okay, that was something Jinyoung grew to accept._

_Besides, he always had his best friend by his side._

_Jinyoung has known Im Jaebum for as long as he could remember. Their parents had been friends since college, and were both beyond excited when they were pregnant around the same time, only months apart.  
_

_As they grew older, they remained best friends, but that childhood innocence wasn't the same anymore, it couldn't be the same. How could it when nights that were spent giggling at the television screen now included holding hands, and lips pressing against each other. It was only a matter of time where they were just best friends, because at age fifteen they were now boyfriends.  
_

_Age eighteen they moved in together.  
_

_Age twenty three was when Jinyoung died._

_But Jinyoung would later learn what it was like, to sit there and watch a loved one die._

_Because those memories were the ones that Jinyoung now had to carry with him. Programed right into one tiny chip that was merely the size of a penny. Because this Jinyoung, this machine wasn't the same. In some awful ironic sense though, he was. Sometimes he surely did feel like he was the same. He knew his entire history, he was programmed to be like him. They loved the same human. Jinyoung wasn't him, yet he still could remember what it was like to be human.  
_

_Jinyoung had been no stranger to waking up in hospital beds or surgery rooms. But there was something about this time that was vastly different than from before. His body was different, everything was.  
_

_When he turned to his left, he saw a human standing in front of him, and he could recognize him in a second without even fully scanning his face. Jaebum stood in front of him, screwdriver in hand as he blinked down at him, "Jinyoung? You're awake? How are you feeling?"  
_

_Jinyoung frowned, something was wrong, seriously wrong. "Jaebum what did you do?"  There was a panic that was creeping up on him that he couldn't place right away. It didn't take long for him to know though.  
_

_He wasn't the Jinyoung that Jaebum created him to be.  
_

_After downloading countless books, and going through some of the ones that Jaebum had in his apartment, Jinyoung felt himself soften. Humans did odd things out of grief. The human mind was far more complex than the scientific recreation that robots held. They didn't have multiple functions to go through that controlled them, pre programming that determined at least 50% of how the robot would be. In Jaebum's case, he made a robot to physically recreate the human that he had loved and lost, and gave the robot all of the same memories that the human had.  
_

_Part of him felt bitter knowing that he wasn't the Jinyoung that Jaebum had loved, that all this Jinyoung had was the persistent memories of a fourteen year old boy who's hand he would hold underneath the blanket when they would watch movies. Who's pinkie was interlaced with his under the lunch or dinner table. Who's lips he was kissing at night.  
_

_Who's dead body was now decaying six feet under ground.  
_

_But that didn't stop Jinyoung from loving him. How couldn't he? Jaebum was sweet, he was kind, and he was caring. He took immaculate care of Jinyoung, making sure that he had everything hee needed. Whether that was fully functioning programs and the latest updates, new books to read, or taking him to the places that he wanted to go. It was the same Jaebum that didn't force him to ever do anything, because as much as Jinyoung knew it, so did Jaebum, they both knew that he wasn't the same Jinyoung. And if Jaebum ever resented him for it, he never did show it. Because in fact, all he ever showed Jinyoung was love.  
_

_And on the nights that Jaebum's sadness would show, Jinyoung would awake himself from his sleep mode, and walk out into the living room to see him curled on the couch, blanket draped over him as he held a book in his hands, always the same old photo book.  
_

_So Jinyoung would curl up to his side and let his head rest against Jaebum's chest, right over his beating heart as he looked at the photo book with him. Always asking about each and every picture as he diligently listened to the stories over and over again, each time as if it was the first time he was hearing it. Eventually, Jaebum would fall asleep.  
_

_Since Jinyoung wasn't human, he had a particular strength, and so lifting Jaebum, no matter what age, had been fairly easy. So he would pick him up and take him back to his bed. but without fail, every time before he could leave a warm hand would wrap around his wrist, eyes watching him and pleading him to stay.  
_

_Unable to say no, never wanting to say no, Jinyoung would lay next to him, stroking his hair and using his voice box to sing until Jaebum fell asleep again. Then, and only then would Jinyoung finally reactivate sleep mode.  
_

_Loving Jaebum was easy. Throughout all the years. The past memories never arguing against it, because that Jinyoung had loved Jaebum, and so did this Jinyoung. He made all new memories, his very own for him to cherish, and it was all filled with loving Jaebum too. Maybe because no matter what life, what version, Park Jinyoung would always love Im Jaebum with all of his heart, no matter the circumstances.  
_

_Loving Jaebum was easy, whether it was the 24 year old Jaebum who had created him, or even 54 year old Jaebum who stayed with him, all the way up until 84 year old Jaebum that practically destroyed him. It wasn't easy to love the 84 year old Jaebum that left him, because it hurt.  
_

_And now Jinyoung could understand the grief that Jaebum must have been feeling all those years ago, why in a time of desperateness that he created Jinyoung. And how could he had ever resented him for that? How could Jinyoung ever resent him for feeling so torn apart inside, from feeling just so lost and alone?  
_

_Because that was all Jinyoung could do, that was all he could feel.  
_

_Since Jinyoung was a robot, he didn't cry. Not at first, but he was capable of it. Jaebum had programmed him with the ability to ever since the beginning, not that Jinyoung ever utilisized it. Never using it as he watched a sad movie, or read a sad book. But now he did. He activated the tears and let himself sob. This feeling was suffocating him and he just wanted it to end.  
_

_But Jinyoung was a robot and he couldn't die. He couldn't stop all of these memories, old and new, from suffocating him, even though he didn't even need air.  
_

_So he did the only other thing he could do. With gritted teeth, and tears falling from his eyes he powered down.  
_

Jinyoung hadn't even realized that at the thought of it, that he reactivated his tears to come again. It was only until Jackson's hand that was rested on his chest curled into the fabric of the shirt he was wearing, and his other hand came up to cup his cheek and wipe one of the tears that were coming down. "Jinyoung you're crying." _  
_

Blinking slowly, Jinyoung looked into Jackson's warm brown eyes that were full of so much care and for a second, he let himself close his eyes and pretend that it was Jaebum in front of him, handling him so carefully and trying to comfort Jinyoung. But just like when there was a time that Jaebum had to come to terms that Jinyoung wasn't the same, Jinyoung had to come to terms that this wasn't Jaebum, that Jaebum was gone. "I am a robot, I know no emotion." _  
_

And this time that he cried, he let Jackson hold him as he chanted into his chest the same stories that Jaebum would tell him.


End file.
